"Do you need to go and pick up the kids?" I am asked by one of my colleagues as I leave the elevator. This particular circumstance allowed me to walk away without needing to answer, but this is not always the case. As a woman in my 30s who has completed training and is now a junior faculty, I often need to explain or justify why I don't have children, and often do it in a way so that the person asking does not feel offended, when in fact it is none of their business.
Society has set "goals" for all, but some are strictly enforced for women, such as parenting and the decision to mother/father/care for other humans. If a man decides to delay parenthood, it is seen as a career choice; but for women, particularly for those in medicine, the story is very different. Women without children are often seen as more masculine (the assumption that not having children was a career choice), less empathic, or somehow "broken."
I have faced all of the questions.
"When are you having children?!"
"Time is ticking — when are we going to see a Duma baby?"
"I thought you were having a baby this year.
